Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
