is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
