Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
