ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize