she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
