im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
