I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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