I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
