I need help removing her.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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