Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
