I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
