You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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