apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
