just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
