the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
