matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
PANTIES FOUND
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