you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
