brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
