Pants 0. Shit 1.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
