Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
