i just sent this text using only my big toe
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize