how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I love having hate sex.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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