I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
