No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
