fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
