i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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