There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
