At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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