i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
