Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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