dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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