I feel great
I just peed on a car
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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