Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
