Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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