one might say we're banned from that church
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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