names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
