He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
