He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
