I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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