I got chris browned last night
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
