When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
