I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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