Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize