Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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