The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
