I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
