Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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