No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How external is "for external use only"?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
