real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
