so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
