I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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