i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
