I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
