youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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