if i can run in heels then i can drive
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
