Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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