So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
