I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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