bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
