she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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