Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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