i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
