I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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