I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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