he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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