mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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