Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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